GRANDPARENT INTERVIEWS

I remember when I was in elementary school, the assignment was to interview a grandparent, or a relative, or someone over the age of 60. The goal was to discover what they went through, and what life was like in the old days. It was history AND investigative journalism in one fell swoop! I KNEW I would ace this, but guess what… I didn’t.

The Project

Now, we didn’t have a cheat sheet of questions to ask, we had to try and come up with those on our own. I remember calling up my grandmother and asking her all sorts of things that I thought that every 10 year old probably wanted to know. We had to compile our research, write out our presentations and a life sketch of this person, and turn them in.

Just good…not great.

When we got our projects back a few weeks later however; my teacher commented , “although you are heading in the right direction, this is just good, not great. You can do better with more work and deeper thought to what you are asking. Work on your interview skills because you need to learn to ask more thought provoking and better, open-ended questions”.

ouch…

Apparently my superficial, fluffy questions weren’t the hard hitting, groundbreaking journalistic zingers my 5th grade teacher was looking for.

So what went wrong?

This was a good lesson for me at a tender and impressionable young age. Perhaps I hadn’t thought long and hard enough about what I was going to ask. Likely I had waited until the last minute, and then haphazardly slapped it together as per usual. I definitely didn’t ask the questions that could have yielded more fruitful answers.

Whatever the case may be, I realized that my questions (although satisfying my 9 year old inquiring mind) really didn’t help me understand who my grandmother was as a whole. For Instance, I knew her favorite food and color, and I knew when and where she was born and I knew she grew up with 5 brothers and sisters. Now that being said, I didn’t hit any of those questions that helped me understand why she was the the way she was, who she REALLY was. I completely ignored any important instances that had shaped and molded her life and personality.

The Lesson I learned

So although I was headed in the right direction, I had a lot of work to do.

Because of this experience, I worked harder at being a better conversationalist. I worked very hard at learning to talk to people, and learning to ask the right questions. I realized that just because you hear someone, that doesn’t mean you are actually listening. Many times we listen to respond, rather than listen to understand. Over the years I have worked with countless people in a one on one atmosphere. I have gained those important conversation and listening skills. I know how to draw people out and question them without them realizing they are being interviewed. One of my best skills is being able to listen and hear, being able to ask the right questions in a natural way to get even the most reluctant of people to open up and share…and THAT is key to a good interview.

The Interview

Have you decided how you are going to conduct the interviews? In person? Over the phone? Via skype or zoom? Get a comfortable space set up and plan for at LEAST an hour. You could even break it up into 2 or 3 mini sessions if one long session is unrealistic Some questions will have answers that are short and to the point. Other questions require a longer and more thought out response. Now you may feel inspired to ask follow up questions , and that is wonderful. Follow where the spirit leads!

Interview in person or via technology?

If you are conducting in person, have a box of tissues and some water on hand. Have a comfortable chair and make sure they are ok. Keep your guest as comfortable as possible. If you are interviewing via zoom or skype or facetime etc, Make sure grandma Betty knows how to log in and has the link, and send a friendly reminder that morning. Make sure they will be comfortable for the time period, or will be ok to break it up over a couple of sessions. Have some family pictures available, this may help jog some memories too.

How will you record the interview?

How will you record the interviews? Will it be through Video? Audio? Maybe handwritten? Have those items like a voice recorder or camera ready to go. If you are recording it on your phone, make sure you battery is charged. So have your paper and pencils to take additional notes or jot down any clarifications so you don’t forget!

About the Questions

These questions are designed to be a basic starting point, to get people talking and offer valuable opportunity for additional follow up questions and details. Many questions leave opportunity for a natural follow-up, and I have included them with their original questions. You do not have to ask all of them , they are just a guide to get your interview going. Pick the questions that will focus on the areas you want to cover. These questions are meant to be a guideline of things you can ask. Follow up questions are great, and it is OK to deviate from script. With almost 100 total questions, there is a lot to choose from that will satisfy the curiosity of children and appease even the most persnickety of school teachers!

Things to think about

Remember, not everyone is comfortable being so open with their life. If you see they are getting uncomfortable, don’t pry or keep pestering.
These interviews can get emotionally taxing, so it is OK to take a break!
Show them you are interested in what they are saying. People can absolutely tell when you don’ t care about what they are talking about, and if your mind is wandering…so STAY FOCUSED!
Know when to call it a day, so If you feel like your subject is tired or emotionally overworked it is ok to stop and try again another day.
Respect their feelings. If they are feeling angry or sad or don’t want to answer a question, just move along.
Make sure you record these interviews for posterity!

80+ interview questions

What is your full name?
Were you named after anyone special, or does it have special meaning?
Do you have a nickname? How did you get it? Does it mean anything special?
What were your parents names?
Where are your parents from? Are they still alive? When did they pass?
What is something important your parents taught you?
When were you born? (date)
Where were you born? Which city? At home? In a hospital?
Do you have brothers and sisters? How many? What are their names?
Are your siblings older or younger?
Did you get along with your siblings, or did you fight a lot? What would you fight about?
What is one of your happiest memories with your siblings?
Where did you grow up? Did you stay in one place or move a lot?
What was one of your earliest memories?
Did you have pets? What kind? Names?
Are your grandparents still alive? what are their names? Where do they live? (if not see # 15)
Do you remember your Grandparents? Their names?
What is the happiest memory of your grandparents?
What is something your grandparents taught you? Did you pass it on to your kids or grandkids?
What did you like to do for fun as a child? Any specific memories?
What would your family do for vacation? Where would you go? Best memory?
Do you remember your best friend growing up? Do you still keep in touch?
Whose been your friend the longest? When did you meet? How did you meet? Still keep in touch?
Did you ever get in trouble? What happened? Did you get punished? What types of punishment were common?
Did you ever take music lessons? Which instrument? Were you in band or orchestra?
What television, movies and music were popular? What were your favorites?
Did you watch cartoons? Which cartoons were your favorite?
Did you play sports? What did you play? Were you good?
What was your favorite food growing up? What’s your favorite food now?
Did you go to church? Which denomination? Are you still a member? Where do you go now?
Where did you go to elementary school? High School? College?
What was your favorite subject in school? Were you good at it?
What was your least favorite subject in school? Why?
Who was your favorite teacher? What made them special to you?
What were some of the popular toys and games when you were growing up? Did you have any of them?
Who were the most popular celebrities when you were a teenager? Who was your favorite?
What was your very first job? what did you do? How much money did you get paid?
What did you want to be when you grew up,? What did you become when you grew up?
Where did you work? What was your job? Did you enjoy it? How long did you do it?
Did you ever travel anywhere? Where did you go?
Where was your favorite place you have traveled? Least Favorite? Most interesting?
How did you meet grandma/grandpa? How old were you?
When did you start dating grandma/grandpa? Do you remember your first date?
What did people do on dates? What were some of your dates?
How long did you two date before getting engaged?
Do you remember getting engaged? What were the details? Was it romantic?
When did you get married? How old were you? How old was your fiance?
Where did you get married? Outside? Courthouse? Church? Temple?
What details of your wedding do you remember? Colors , flowers, dress/veil or tuxedo, bridesmaids and groomsmen.
What do you remember the most about your wedding day?
How many kids do you have? Names? Birth order? Are they still living?
What do you remember about my mom/dad being born?
Do you remember when I was born? Tell me what you remember.
What is your favorite memory about my mom/dad?
What is one of your favorite memories of me?
Do you have a hobby? What do you like to do?
Do you belong to any groups or auxiliaries? What do they do?
What is your favorite holiday? Why?
What are some of your favorite holiday traditions? Where did they come from? Did you pass them down to your kids?
What is something that makes you happy?
Something that makes you sad?
Who is one of your personal heroes? Why are they so inspirational to you?
If you had a time machine, what era or event would you like to travel back to and witness firsthand? Why?
If you could meet ANY person, dead or alive, who would it be? Why? What would you say to them?
What is something difficult that you have had to overcome? How did you do it?
What are some significant historical events that you remember? How did it affect your life?
What was it like growing up during the depression, or the 50s or 60s? (pick an era)
Did you live through any wars? (WWII, Korea, Vietnam, Gulf War etc) What was that like?
Did you ever serve in the military? Which branch? What rank did you receive? Any commendations or awards?
How has technology changed from when you were a kid? Is it a good thing or a bad thing?
What is one mistake you made and what you learned from it?
Looking back, what is one accomplishment that you are very proud of?
If you could tell your younger self one thing, what would it be?
Do you remember when you became a grandparent for the first time?
What do you love most about being a grandparent?
Tell me one piece of advice you would give the youth in this country?
What skills do you think I should have and/or learn to be successful in life?
What is the one thing you think I should know about you?
Something I would be surprised to learn about you?
How has the world changed the most since you were a kid? Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
What should the youth of today learn from the past? What lessons of yesterday should the youth of today know and learn?

In conclusion

These ideas don’t have to be used solely for school projects. Grandparent interviews don’t have to be for just grandparents for instance. They can be used for any older person or relative. You can easily adjust the personal questions accordingly.

These interviews are a great way for us to learn about our family history, and even history in general. They are a way for us to learn from and about the past, but also to see just how much we still have in common! We can see how far we have come, yet still find comfort in the similarities that still exist.

Happy Interviewing!

80+ great questions to ask when doing a grandparent interview